Woman to Woman: it has always been you

A Tale of Unbreakable Bonds and Unparalleled Friendships For Life

A landmark study by UCLA researchers tracked a group of women for 20 years, finding that those with the strongest network of female friends lived significantly longer than those with fewer social ties (1).

In a world where relationships come and go, there's a special kind of magic that only a lifelong friendship from woman to woman can offer. From the tender age of 13, when life was a collection of awkward moments and adolescent dreams, two young girls met each other. The bond that defied time, distance, and the unpredictability of life itself. This is the story of a friendship that has stood the test of over 30 years, an unbreakable connection that has weathered fiery trials, celebrated unforgettable milestones, and embraced the shared secrets of two kindred souls.

Female friends that have been there from the beginning

Woman to Woman - how it all started

Our story begins in the high-school bench when our eyes met and instantly felt a connection. Jessy (not her real name) became my soulmate. All our adventures have been epic!

From the evening when the night bus that quite literally caught fire and we escaped in high heels and mini dresses only to hitch hike to the hottest afterparty in a glittering city.

We share ALL the details, don't make any mistakes

She has been there to excitedly celebrate the loss of my virginity that coincided with her birthday, and till this day is mentioned honourably with a few clings.

A few times we participated in questionable (if not illegal) revenges and held each other secretes so fast, that we need to remind each other, that each one actually knew the truth.

Who would've thought that the flames of that wild bus ride would foreshadow the blazing adventures that awaited us? It's in these moments of unexpected chaos that friendships often take root. As Psychology Today illuminates, shared experiences of adversity can deepen emotional connections and foster bonds that last a lifetime (Hendrick, 2018).

Little did we know that our ability to navigate the flames and emerge unscathed would be a metaphor for our enduring friendship.

Woman to Woman: waaay easier to say "I'm sorry"

That fateful night was just the beginning. We've hitchhiked our way to afterparties, laughed at life's quirks over midnight snacks, and celebrated each other's personal victories with unbridled joy. Our connection was tested and we passed each obstacle with an "I'm sorry phone call" that was easier to make to each other than to our respective boyfriends.

The intricacies of life brought divorces and disappointments our way, but together, we transformed these trials into stepping stones of strength. According to a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, friends who provide empathetic support during difficult times contribute significantly to emotional well-being and resilience (Manczak et al., 2019).

We held each other close, wiping away tears and reaffirming that no heartbreak could change our eventual plan to retire together and become cougars.

What a marriage should look like

In many ways, Jessy said, our friendship is like a marriage. With its fair share of separations and reunions. The evolution of relationships, much like ours, follows a similar pattern of highs and lows.

It has always been just you

According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, strong relationships are built on the foundation of trust, communication, and mutual respect (Gottman & Silver, 2018).

Our enduring friendship, despite the ups and downs, exemplifies these principles. Keeping each other's secrets wasn't a responsibility; it was a privilege. Reminding each other of the shared truth, is the hallmark of a connection that transcends the ordinary friendships.

Woman to Woman: I admire her

As we navigate the tapestry of romantic relationships, Jessy and I shared a silent opinion – We both knew that the men we chose were not worthy of the beauty and intelligence of the other. It's a testament to our unwavering support and possibly even an idealistic view Jessy and I hold for each other.

We never had to make a pact not to "steal" each other's boyfriends. These things went unsaid and were considered an universal rule. To bring such a topic up would be disrespectful to our friendship.

Jessy has been the unwavering pillar of support for all my whimsical escapades and questionable decisions. From daring adventures that defied reason to impulsive choices that left me shaking my head in disbelief, she stood by my side, never once passing judgment but instead embracing the chaos with a hearty laugh and a reassuring smile. With her, there was no need to explain, no need to justify – her mere presence was a testament to a bond that transcended reason.

Woman to Woman: my safe harbour

Her unflinching support and willingness to embrace even the most harebrained schemes created an atmosphere where I felt free to explore, learn, and grow without fear of judgment. I felt that even the sharpest therapist could not know about my deepest fears and maybe were even there in my childhood when that fear was born.

Our friendship became a safe harbour for my wild ideas, a space where laughter and camaraderie bloomed even in the face of the most absurd choices. Her support wasn't just about agreeing with my every move; it was about understanding the essence of our connection, a connection that gave me the freedom to stumble, learn, and ultimately thrive.

So here's to the one who has been there through it all, the confidante of secrets, the partner in revenge, the holder of laughter, and the keeper of countless memories.

To my first female friend, you know who you are, it has always been you ❤️

The science of friendships, as outlined in various psychology magazines, illuminates the significance of emotional connections, shared experiences, and empathetic support (Hendrick, 2018; Manczak et al., 2019).

References:

• (1) UCLA Loneliness Study

• Hendrick, S. S. (2018). Why We Need Best Friends. Psychology Today.

• Manczak, E. M., Zapata-Gietl, C., McLean, K. C., & Wright, A. G. (2019). Distinguishing functions of close relationships: Support, validation, companionship, and intimacy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(5), 1617-1638.

• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2018). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony.